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I have a really cool thing to tell all of you, but I need to wait a couple of days to make it a little bit harder to triangulate my position and identity (although many of you who still read this know who I am).

But I can’t wait to tell you because it was really, really cool. And I was on the news for it. As was the husband. So stay tuned…

 

In other news (hahaha, pun intended sort of), there are few things more humbling and than seeing oneself on camera. Wow. I cried after I saw myself on t.v. I seriously did. I shed tears because I thought I had been making all this progress, that I looked good. That I had made some updates to my look, that my skin was starting to look better and that I had actually updated my haircut in a way that you know, took some years off. Not according to how I looked on t.v.! Last night was my first meltdown in a month. Wine and ice cream. I feel like crap this morning, and we have a 10 hour drive in front of us today. So why am I blogging and not packing? Because I feel gross this morning, and it’s taking me a while to get moving. I know this week will be spent trying to work off the damage I did Sunday and Monday night. Which has me a little bit down. And because we had a full day yesterday and I still had a syllabus to work on, I didn’t workout yesterday. And I won’t have the opportunity to today either. This is the first time in 6 weeks that I’ll have taken two days off in a row. It’s not the end of the world, but something about Home City just unravels me. But, I was much more successful this time around. If there is any weight gain from the vacay, I can’t tell because my clothes still fit. Historically, it’s been entirely possible for me to come to Home City with clothes that fit and leave a week later with clothes that are too tight. At least that didn’t happen this time.

Part of the problem was that it was COLD! Colder than the weather had predicted. And I did not bring running clothes for weather this cold, which means that I’ve had to wait until later in the day to work out, which while I have a nice schedule at BLT, here it was kind of a problem saving the workouts until the afternoon. Normally the cold wouldn’t bother me, but since everyone is getting sick and still sick, and I don’t want to get sick. Plus, it’s the recovery week for one of the programs that I’m doing, which is fine, and I need the rest, but I think I’ve got to keep doing the other program because I have found that I feel my best about myself when I do the second one with the running.

Here’s the other problem–I have been spending too much money the last couple of days because I have just been feeling so ugly! And it’s bad. I don’t have the money to spend on my looks. I mean, my looks need some updating. I’m in a rut. Totally. It’s bad. But I also need shoes–I just wore out my second pair of Dansko’s ever! Like I have worn through the seams! You know I got some use out of them!

But this is what happens when I come here. I don’t know why. It’s weird because I consider this place home, but I’ve been on shaky ground since having beers with my friend, the pixie in human form. I think once I get home and get back to my routine and have control over what’s being cooked, and getting back to my environment will help.Of course that doesn’t solve the immediate problem of my spending this past week, but I did get a new outfit for yesterday’s event which will double as the first day of class outfit. The biggest purchase was for the J–we finally went to the eye doctor and he got new glasses for the first time in 5 years! But of course we’re out of network, so we had to pay for those. And I’m out of contacts, so I got six months worth of them with the hopes that by the time I need to replace them the J will have some income. I couldn’t justify $200+ for a year when six months were $100 less and the J needs glasses.

Anyway, now I’m complaining. But thanks for listening. I’m off to pack now and get stuff cleaned up here so we can hit the road soon.

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2 responses »

  1. Good luck with everything on the agenda. Also, give yourself a hug and know that it’s just always strange to see oneself on tv! You are lovely!

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