Okay, that doesn’t sound as cool typed out as it did in my head.
All right, well, I have been working on a schedule for the next week.
I’ve already rearranged stuff. Go figure right?
This schedule also requires me trying to do my workout before class, because honestly, I keep coming back to that idea, so it’s something that must be important for me right? I think it’s because there’s a memory ping-ponging in my brain about how much less complicated and easier my life seemed when that workout in the morning was done. So that’s the goal that I keep working toward.
Honestly though, aside from that goal, I think what is the most important for me in doing this kind of mapping out of the schedule is that it shows me that I *do* actually have time to get things done with hours in between and hours at night to relax. What I’ve done right now is to try to figure out a way to get all of the reading for the last 2.5 weeks done, at least for the lit class, this weekend. Right now all of my scholarly work is on hold until next quarter.
My schedule yesterday got thrown a little out of whack because I a) forgot that I was teaching someone else’s class during my office hours and forgot to look for some poems to do, and b) forgot that I had that course release fellowship app to write. And I ended up spending more time on that than it probably needed, but it was worth it. And it’s storming right now, so today’s actually a good day to just sit and read for class all day, or most of the day. But I think having actual time blocked off, and seeing that time blocked off for what needs to be done (although I’ve failed miserably these two days) is what I need. I’ll let you know next Saturday how it goes.
We have also decided to scrap the marathon totally. We had considered dropping down to the half marathon, but at this point it’s not so much a matter of training, but a matter of money. Even if we were able to keep the cost of the trip down to like $150, that’s still a lot of money when you think about how much we don’t have for the summer bills yet–that’s the gas, electric, and water bill right there (and sewer and trash) or 2-2.5 weeks of groceries. There are all kinds of things that that money can go toward. Sure, we are out the registration fee for the marathon, which wasn’t cheap, but it’s better to be out of $200 that we haven’t missed than to be out more money that we need right now. Running the marathon and making the trip isn’t getting us our money back. And I think had the J been employed all this time, we might have actually trained harder for it, but I think I, myself, didn’t train like I should have because I knew we couldn’t afford it, or that we might not be able to make the trip, and I would have been really disappointed had I been prepared for the marathon and done all that work just to have to cancel the trip. Although perhaps had I trained harder, I might have made a better effort with our money, but it’s neither here nor there. There are other ones. And when the J has a job, we can plan things better.
I hate financial stress. I hate the idea of money. I hate unemployment and job searches. Of course, we could scale back on things–we could get rid of the cable, phone, and internet. We could be in an apartment instead of a house. We could have not bought the car and kept it to one car and tried to get by better wit that. Which means the insurance would be lower–both if we had an apartment and one car. And though it sounds totally counterintuitive and just poor financial sense, I think if we were to massively scale back, we’d be totally and completely depressed. And we were able to cut the phone, internet, and cable bills in half, actually. And to cancel now means we’d be out more money over the summer than we would have, so it wouldn’t help us with the immediate need. I guess there are lots of things I could have done, but I just have to go with where I am now. At this point, there’s not much more I can do than to hope for the best. The J does have some drill weekends to make up. We’ve got tax returns coming in. The J will have his two week duty for the guard this summer, too. And maybe we can go to Home City during the break so he can make up some guard work before he starts school, which he should, soon.
That’s an idea, I guess. Oooh, that means winter clothes and stuff. Yikes.
On that note, I guess I’ll get to it!