After reading Homesteader’s post, and in thinking about some of the things that Dame Eleanor has been saying about organization and the like, I thought I’d comment on my week and some things that I’ve done this week that I’ve liked, that have helped, that I wish I could do better, and things that aren’t working.
My first problem is that I do too much. Seriously. I take care of nearly 90% of the stuff around here, mostly by choice. When the J was in Afghanistan, I mean, who else was going to take care of the household and everything. So it is, too, out of habit. Plus, I have the bills set up my way which works for us (which is antithetical to the J’s ideology of bill paying, plus, he has some memory issues as a result of multiple concussions during his three tours, and it’s not that I don’t trust him to remember these things, it’s just easier for me since I have a system already that works–could use some tweaking; however, I very much like being in charge of the money). Anyway, I do most of the cooking, okay, like 95% of the cooking, I do the laundry most of the time, and I do the putting away of things and the regular feeding of the dogs. Mostly I do just about everything because I like to be in control of everything. And one thing that I have to learn is to relinquish some control. And it’s not that the J is unwilling to help at all. He totally will. I just won’t let him.
So here’s what I did. I asked him if I made him a to do list to help me if that would be aggravating or demeaning. He said, to my delight, “No, that would actually be helpful!” So yay! I’ve made a to do list for him. And it relieves my stress to see things crossed off on it, and I can tell it makes him feel like he’s helping me out.
Then I did something that I haven’t done in about a year. I let him make dinner! (okay, he made me dinner during Christmas, but I wasn’t stressed out on Christmas Eve). And it was awesome to have him do that! I gave him the recipes for the meals I was planning to make (because I went grocery shopping with those meals in mind), and it was so wonderful! It gave me the extra time I needed to finish some of my own work and then I was able to relax a bit afterward, too! So we decided that we would meal plan and split the cooking now, and I would write down the page and recipe book for the meals planned for each day. Part of the reason we don’t split the cooking is because I just enjoy cooking. Most of the time it’s a way for me to relax and feel like I’m doing something good for us. But sometimes the exhaustion from the day outweighs my desire to cook and it isn’t relaxing on those days but a chore. So if I can gain an extra hour to work in the afternoons three nights a week, then woo-hoo, I predict that my stress level will decrease. And maybe we might just make MWF his cooking nights since those are my long days. But seriously, I had no idea what a difference that could make. And Thursday was along crappy horrible day, too, but it ended well.
I did actually make a lot of time for myself this week, too. It was easier on M & T because classes hadn’t resumed yet; however, I really put for the effort this week (now the trick is maintaining that) to focus on myself. I guess that sounds selfish, but it has made an amazing difference during what could have been a completely crappy week. (Like I’m not feeling terribly confident with my teaching in the theory class, but that’s another post). So I made a workout schedule, and I put it on the fridge, and I’ve been X-ing out the workouts. Now, there were a couple of days when I couldn’t run as long as I had scheduled, and I had to adjust the yoga day because I was too exhausted to run and do yoga, but needed to run for the marathon training. While I didn’t follow the schedule as perfectly as I would like to have, I did follow it. And I like seeing a series of Xs for the days and the workouts because it looks like a tangible accomplishment that I can see rather than in the abstract. And while I have the intent of working out in the morning and I curse myself every afternoon for not having worked out in the morning (I have actually then been sleeping in, which I apparently need and have gotten my morning routine including getting ready and eating breakfast down to under an hour), but I’ve made myself do it. And I always feel better afterward.But that has made a tremendous difference in how I feel and how I feel about myself and a happier Nola means a happier household. what I need to keep working on now is getting the workouts in in the morning before class and running in the afternoon, so that’s the next step. But I’ve gotten into two pairs of pants this week that I hadn’t been able to wear since October. My stomach bloat has gone down. And my jeans are fitting a little bit better. But the real challenge is not to pull a typical Nola here and stop after the first week.
At some point today there will be a run, and I have to confess that I’m glad the super long run is not this weekend. I need another week to build up the confidence for that.That being said, I feel like my morning is almost gone, and I should find the books that I need to get read this weekend so I can teach them this week. Maybe successfully navigating them in the theory class will help my confidence there.
Hope everyone had a great week and has a great weekend!