The Snerms.

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I’m having a crappy morning. Seriously, the effects of last Thursday night’s drunk fest are still lingering. It fucking sucks to the extreme, let me tell you. This is worse than the faculty retreat back in May. Out of control.

So yesterday I felt like crap. I didn’t do shit once I got home. I laid on the floor, then I laid on the couch, ate some crappy food and then felt horrible all night and couldn’t sleep. Part of the problem about Thursday is that the aftermath has kept me from being able to work out for a week now. I haven’t done a damn thing since last Wednesday. I’m pretty sure I was still hungover on Sunday, and I’m still dehydrated. I seriously feel like the biggest ass loser in the world right now. My body hurts. And it’s from lack of sleep and lack of activity, and I’ve got to break the cycle no matter how horrible I feel. It’s storming today, so I might not be able to sneak a run in this afternoon, but I’ve at least got to eat well tonight. My face looks like shit. I’m freaking ass miserable right now. I detest feeling this way.

Plus there’s the stress of the car–the one we have is acting up. Granted it’s a relatively cheap and easy fix that the J can do on his own, but still, that’s a PITA. And since the in-laws didn’t have collision on their car we crashed and they want $ for it, we are now filing the claim under our insurance in the hopes that our excess covers the car, which it looks like it probably will, but I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth here, so I’m assuming the worst until I know otherwise. In the meantime, I’m going to try to cash out my retirement from Fancy Town so that the money can either go to the in-laws to get them a new car, or we use it to pay off debt so that we can repair our credit and whatever is left can go to savings, or we use it to buy a new car outright and not have a car payment. However, as we now have two auto claims in three months, I’m sure our insurance is going to go through the roof, so I’m not sure that we could even afford the insurance on a new car whether we had a car payment or not at this point. I feel like the best thing would be to pay off my debt at least (all that delinquent crap) and start rebuilding my credit since I’m the one with the job. Anyway, that’s just a stressor I don’t want to have to deal with really at all, you know?

I could have–*could have* finished up my grading yesterday, but I took the afternoon off, so now I’m not really behind yet, I’m just not caught up. And this weekend is going to be a grading weekend I believe, too. We were supposed to go to my aunt’s, but since the car is acting up, well, she’ll be disappointed, but she’ll just have to wait until Thanksgiving. I think she thinks I’m avoiding going to see her. But you know, I’ve got an article to research and write by Thanksgiving, so I can’t afford to take a weekend trip right now (besides, that’s gas money we really don’t have). I’ve got a steady stream of papers coming in for the rest of the quarter. And I need to focus on surviving this first quarter without any further incident like extreme drunkeness, crashed cars, falls, etc. I don’t want to go anywhere or do anything but just be until Thanksgiving.

Marathon training starts Sunday, officially, too. And I’m feeling like crap about it because I should have been able to get at least 8-16 pounds off by now, but there’s always some damn excuse isn’t there? So now I start training at my heaviest in years at a point when I’m already struggling with discipline issues. Although at least I can say I’ve been much more disciplined this quarter about getting my work done when it comes in and getting it done on campus, so I’m making progress in one area at least. I’m a terrible planner. I’m a terrible organizer. I don’t put things away. And there’s just clutter everywhere. What does this have to do with weight loss and working out? Well, if the kitchen’s not clean, I don’t prep food in a timely manner so that when it’s time to cook, it’s easy not to if I’m the least bit tired which means I’m less likely to eat something good for me. When I’m tired and not feeling well or hungover, I want things that are bad for me. And now I just feel like I’m whining here. Oh woe is me. Whatever. I need to put up or shut up. I feel so hopeful about everything when I get sleep, and last night I didn’t sleep, so my attitude about everything is poor, to say the least.

On the plus side, the one committee I am serving on isn’t meeting this week. Yay! That means that the next possible time we could meet is the second week of December, so that’s one less thing to worry about right now I suppose.

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2 responses »

  1. Dearest Nola, perhaps you feel bad a bunch of different ways and so it is skewing your self-perception. You might not be the greatest at organizing time, but organizing stuff? You have one of those air-getter-outer things so that you can store stuff more efficiently in a small space! Last time I checked you had three vacuum cleaners, and not because two are broken, but because each is good at different things (if I remember correctly). Is your idea of clean and neat and put away a bit more involved than most people’s? Just arguin’ with the “I’m terrible at” stuff.

    Feel better!

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