Almost a really really bad day.


Okay, well, things are fine, now. I have left that weird vortex where I was a productive person. Now, like normal people, I am behind on grading and almost behind on the reading for my classes. I blew off this weekend. I felt pretty good on Monday, and had a plan for grading and work Monday night, and then well, here’s what happened.

Well, okay, here’s the slight back story. The J was on his way to see me Monday night because his orders are up at the armory (so much for that one year extension they promised him) because they found that it would be cheaper to pay him an hourly wage for the same job than to put him orders (no housing allowance, no insurance). So, he decided to say “fuck it” and come see me for a couple of weeks while they get his stuff together because it might be worth the $ for $16/hr but not for $10/hr. to run two households. If we’re going to break even on his expenses there, he may as well be here. So as of Saturday, we had no insurance. But whatever, he’ll fix that on Tuesday when he gets here. I spend a nice Monday afternoon working out. I’m getting ready to finish dinner and then start on some grading. Things are fine.

He left Monday morning. Monday afternoon he texts me to tell me that he has crashed his step father’s car and that he’s taking an ambulance to the emergency room. What?? First of all, his worst injury, thank god, was a minor concussion. But I’m freaking out because, shit, no insurance (since he could text me and then call me, I knew he was ok so I wasn’t worried at that point about his safety. If he’s okay to talk coherently, he’s ok, right?). He calls the insurance from the hospital and gets that taken care of retroactively (loss of coverage you get thirty days to back date to the date of loss). Of course, the not having insurance was the way for me to focus on something other than him being hurt and freaking out. I get in the car and drive 3.5 hours to get him because the car is totaled. His tire blew out; he fishtailed and hit a ditch. At which point he rolled the car completely twice and then FLIPPED it back over front and THEN rolled it another half time. Seven people stopped because they thought whoever was in the car was dead, and they were astonished that he was out walking around. I’m glad I didn’t know this until after I picked him up. He is really fucking lucky. His parents will get no money for the car because it was about 16 years old and they only had liability on it.

I feel like much of this is my fault. A), if I wouldn’t have taken the job here, we wouldn’t have had to move and my car wouldn’t have gotten smashed up. B), if my car hadn’t gotten smashed up, then we’d still have two cars and he wouldn’t have been driving his step-dad’s father’s car. C), if I hadn’t been so damn selfish about not wanting to get another car right away (because we couldn’t afford it), then he wouldn’t have been driving his step-dad’s car. So I feel like this is all my fault because I’m selfish. That’s a tough pill to swallow.

So as soon as I talked to him, I immediately called my boss and cancelled my classes and office hours for yesterday because I didn’t know if he was going to have to stay in the hospital, how far away he was at the time, if the trip would go smoothly and I would make it back (but I didn’t want to have to rush back for an 8 am class or even the noon class if things did not go well). She was really understanding. I’m of course worried about having cancelled a class one month into a new job, but there are no indications by anyone that I did anything inappropriate by canceling class for this. And my boss was great. She offered to come over and take care of the dogs. She asked me to call her when I picked up the J, and asked me to call her yesterday to check in to let her know how the J was feeling and if he was doing ok. She was even trying to find someone to take the trip with me so that I wouldn’t have to drive alone, which was really sweet. I think if she wasn’t the boss and didn’t have to be there at 8 am, she would have gone with me. So I packed up the dogs, just in case, and we drove 3.5 hours to get him. And the ride home was smooth except an almost close encounter with a deer. We got home around 1 and I made him stay up until 3 because of the concussion which was about 12 hours post-incident. And he’s sore and still has a lingering headache, but thank god he’s okay. I saw one distant picture of the truck, and seriously, I should be planning his funeral right now it was that bad.

Friday we have to drive back up to the accident to clean out the truck because he got to the hospital before the tow truck even came to get the truck. I told him he’s not going back to Home City (unless by some miracle they put him on orders for a year in which case we could buy a new car, but I’m not even sure I’d want that to happen but then I’d just fly him once a month to see me rather than him driving). Even if he wanted to go back, he has no way of getting there right now. They’ve even screwed up his re-enlistment. I’m so angry at his unit right now. If they had gotten their shit together, he’d been at work Monday afternoon and not crashing up a car! Needless to say, yesterday was a complete bust. I was exhausted from the drive and from the close call. I got out of my pjs and off the couch long enough to go to the store and to cook dinner. The J slept most of the day. I did no work. And my stuff for today is in my office, so early morning prep is out. Oh well.

I know this ended up being about me. It was NOT supposed to be about me. I’m just so glad that he’s okay and not more injured than he is. I’m tired of the traveling (both his and mine). I’m tired of the two home 10 hour commute here. My mom thinks god is trying to tell us to go to church. I think the universe is telling us to stay the fuck in one place for a while. But he’s fine. He’s here. We’ll figure out the unemployment thing eventually, but I’m just glad that he’s here. And at least we’re in a place where we can survive on my income, although I’d like to do more than just “survive.” But that’s another problem for another day.

I do feel like we are the two most irresponsible adults on the planet though having each had a car crash within 2.5 months of each other. Sheesh. We’re 1 for 3 with cars right now. I guess if we were baseball players that would be pretty good though right?


2 responses »

  1. Of course the post should be about you! Your job right now is to take care of the J (am I wrong?) and that means that no one is taking care of you, so of course you need to post and get it all out! I think this is a great way of taking care of your needs, girlfriend.

    How terribly scary! And you are not irresponsible adults because you’ve had terribly bad luck with cars lately. I agree that the universe is telling you both to stay in one place. And though I wouldn’t stretch it to going to church per se, I think a big thank you to the powers that be (whatever they are) might be in order. I’ll be saying that big thank you the next time I get in touch with the powers that be, so you can concentrate on the J.

    So let me get this straight: you feel bad somehow that you’re behind on grading/prep because the J got in a car wreck? You feel bad because you cancelled class because you went to pick up your husband from the hospital and now are dealing with the after-effects of his having been in a huge car wreck? Priorities. Family comes first. Period.

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{Nola and the J}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    • Oh, I’m *incredibly* thankful to the powers that be for keeping us safe during two horrible wrecks. I tried to explain to my mother that I didn’t need church to do that, so there ya go. I’m so not discounting that at all.

      I am happy to report that the J is much better today. Thanks for the well wishes!!

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