Oh my poor little bloggy blog. I have missed you. Though I wonder if the time may be approaching when we part, even maybe temporarily. But we’ll table that for a later date.
So things have been going mostly swimmingly here in Polyanna-ville. Right now my biggest problem is dealing with the J being gone–believe it it or not folks, in many ways, his being only two states away feels harder to me than when he was in Afghanistan. I think it is perhaps because he *could* be here–financially and rationally I know it’s better for him to be in Home City, but I’m really struggling a lot right now with feelings of neglect among other things and it keeps me from thinking clearly because I am filled with anxiety about it. They are different feelings of anxiety than when he was in Afghanistan, but they are just as strong.
Actually, I think the biggest problem is that I am having trouble sleeping right now. I’m only getting four hours of straight sleep. I still might get 7 or 8 in a night, but it’s not continuous, and that really really affects my mood. Profoundly. And very negatively, and I do stupid self-sabotaging stuff when I don’t get enough sleep, so this is starting to worry me. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since Thursday, and I’m getting the cranks.
This also means that I am fighting tooth and nail to get my shit done. One would assume the exhaustion from this would make me tired, but no, it’s really not actually. And see, I am not even sure this blog post is coherent. And I’ve been working out, too, but since I haven’t been getting good sleep, the weight’s not dropping like it should. So for the past week, I’ve just been really cranky and frustrated although things are going well and I’m doing a bunch of positive stuff, the lack of consistent, deep sleep is making me cranky.
I’ll try and give you some positives that just don’t happen to Nola–I picked up essays on Friday morning. By Sunday afternoon, they were all graded. WTF is that about? I think it’s because I had then turn them in on-line and I did all the grading on-line and they were just rough drafts, and since it was done on-line, I couldn’t write stuff on every line, so this really helped me not over comment and get them done sooner. Plus, I like not having a pile of papers following me around. I’ve never done the on-line commenting before, and I’m totally hooked now. I hope this works pedagogically for me. Now, this weekend, I’m taking up short lit analyses in two of the classes and then final drafts in the other class, so we’ll see how productive I really am this weekend with like 90 essays instead of 26. But I don’t want to think about that.
I have been working really really hard (although it was much harder last week) to get as much prep as possible done during my office hours. I was even able to have time to get some of my own reading done last week, too. I actually have an idea for an article, so I guess I’m actually working on something. Still no word about revisions or whatever on the one I crappily wrote last month, so that’s hanging out in the back of my head there, too. One of my new colleagues and I had talked about doing a writing group, or rather, we’d meet and swap work and discuss our stuff, and I think it’s a good match because he’s strong theoretically and we both work with similar theorists, so I think it would be helpful for me to have someone who knows the theory to help keep me from sounding stupid, if that makes sense. But we’ll see. So that might be good if we actually do it. And my students still seem really great. The freshman are alert and smart and trying and not giving me grief about every single thing (actually, none, knock wood, have given me grief yet), and the survey class seems to be going well, too. We’ll see how well after these lit analyses come in, but aside from my sleep issues and feelings of neglect, I guess things are still going really well.