I’ve started like four different posts this week. The only one that has survived has been the one about my car (and yes, even the commercials fill me with sadness and anger–perhaps had it not been a hit and run–or is that a correct term even for the accident–he did flee the scene of the accident rather rapidly, anyway…).
Most of the posts I’ve started have been whiney or even arrogant (Like a whole post about why I’m happy here that turned out to sound really snotty I thought).
So here’s what’s going on and what I’ve been thinking about:
- I actually am really happy here, for many reasons, including the this new job. I feel really content right now in many aspects of my life.
- I’m trying to use this sense of happiness and contentment to improve on other areas of my life. I have time and space now to do some of the things that I want (maybe I need to write a post on “space.” The amount of physical space I have here makes such a difference for my mental and physical well-being I feel. It’s really weird how much “space” matters). I plan on doing more cooking and more reading before the quarter starts at the very least, and I’ve got time now to continue to do that during the quarter. I need to figure out a schedule since I’m big on schedules and start trying to feel out what works for me now and what doesn’t.
- I miss the J, and despite all the good things, I do have some anxiety about his being gone because the longer his orders are screwed up, the longer he’s going to have to work out of town (no orders = paycheck that’s half of what it would be on orders, so it will take twice as long to catch up and save and start restoring credit from the additional hits we took this summer). And this is the third summer in a row that I’ve not gotten to really see him at all. I long for the day when we will have a “normal” marital arrangement, but maybe this is just “normal” for us. I just miss him. Life is easier when he’s around. I like having a real partner in addition to a husband.
- I have spent the last couple of days writing out my goals for the next three weeks. I have discovered that part of my goal setting problem is not that I don’t set them, but that they are not specific enough or they become oppressively specific and when I can’t hang, I give up. So I’ve set a range for each thing that I want to accomplish in the next three weeks. I have set the “ideal” which is what I could accomplish if I followed what I wanted to do nearly perfectly for the next three weeks. And then I set the minimum which allows for a lack of perfection and is what I would be comfortable with accomplishing falling short of the ideal. I set that for my weight loss and academic goals. And then after three weeks, when classes start, I’ll reassess and see if the three week thing works.