I miss my car.

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I’m kind of agitated today, this morning rather. Actually, I was annoyed about life and kind of bitchy all day except at my grandparents. It could be PMS, but whatever. And sinuses. I’ve been waking up with sinus headaches. And I know this is going to sound soooooooooo incredibly stupid, but I really miss my car. And it sucks that it’s going to be a while before we can replace it. I didn’t mind driving the J’s car before, but since it’s my only option and since it’s not *my* car, I dislike it now. Ok, I know first of all we are fortunate that no one was hurt in the accident aside from stiffness and soreness. And I know we are fortunate that one of our sets of parents had a spare car for us to use indefinitely so that we can have transportation without having to go buy a car now (because quite frankly, the J’s unemployment this summer has put a ding in the credit we had built up, so I worry even if we wanted to buy a car now, we wouldn’t be able to).

Yes, this really is about my car. Yes, I really do miss my car that much.  And again, I think I can focus on the car because no one was hurt, and it keeps me from thinking, still, three weeks later, about what might have happened.

I loved this car. I’ve never been more attached to a car than this one. I don’t know why. I loved my Jeep and I miss that girl, but I truly mourn the loss of this car. She just fit me. Seriously. I’ve never been attached to a car like this. I always thought that boys and men who were attached to their cars unnaturally had penis issues, but something about my car I just loved. I want another one to replace her so badly, that if at the end of the year we can’t find a deal like we found this year with all the stuff she had in her the last time, then I’m trying to sell the J on leasing the car (and then after three years when he has his degree and a job, we’d either trade it in or buy it). I’m not a fan of leasing at all, but seriously, that’s how much I miss the car and want to replace her with what she had before.

My poor sweet Soul. You were so safe. You protected me and my mom and the ever faithful mutts. You sacrificed your well-being for us. Every time I get into another car, it makes me miss you more. I see a hamster and I miss you.

Between the totaled out amount and the gap insurance, we won’t owe on the car at least, but it still really sucks. Because I just miss her. It’s not like she was expensive or fancy even really (for crying out loud, it’s not like she was an Audi or anything), but she was my girl, and yes, I mourn the loss of my car.

 

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