I feel like I might be able to focus now.


All right, so despite the wicked crazy sinus headache I woke up with this morning and the the fact that my cramps were so bad last night that they woke me out of a dead sleep, I am not stressed out to the hilt this morning. My neck and back don’t hurt. And I don’t feel like this stupid (that’s right, it’s graduated to “stupid”) book chapter is impossible given the time constraints. The big problem this whole summer has been an inability to focus. I can read for about an hour, and then my mind starts to wander about all the things that I’m worried about–the J getting employment, the new job (or when I was waiting to hear from them, thinking I was out of the running, then thinking about it and celebrating getting it and not being able to focus), moving, moving expenses, telling my boss, finishing up administrative duties, packing, traveling, moving expenses. And yesterday, most of it came together after I tried to poof all my negativity. I’m sorta pissed at myself for not thinking ahead and not doing more shopping around for moving options because if we had known (rather if I had done my job) when I ordered the POD how much cheaper the truck would have been, then the J would have just decided then to take off work if he had been employed or was planning on being employed. And I could have just gotten him a one way ticket a long time ago and not have had to borrow more money from the parents. Fortunately there won’t be a next time. Or rather, there better not be.

The J’s new job still means that I only get to see him once a month, but it also means that he’s “on orders” so he gets a housing allowance and all that stuff. He can keep an eye on the house  and maintain it a bit more, especially now since the roommate is gone indefinitely because his unit was called up to do flood relief, which is good for him because it pays him a whole lot more than what he’s making at his current job he hates. But back to the J. It also means that he’s got really good employment through the end of October, and hopefully he’ll be able to start school winter quarter then, and we should be caught up on everything by mid August instead of mid-September and I should be able to start saving again. Whew.

I’m debating on the run today. It’s just so stinking hot already this morning. Hotter now than it was this time yesterday morning, and I’m just sorta crampy and sluggish this morning. I don’t know if I’ll feel better going for the run, or if I’ll feel better jumping into work and getting that done since I slept in a little bit this morning. I need to make a decision now.

Ok. Decision made. I’m going to just jump right into the reading I need to get done since I’m feeling some clarity this morning and feeling like it is possible to get work on the chapter done. I think I’ll only regret not going on the run if I don’t accomplish the reading I need to accomplish today. And I vow to go to bed early tonight and I vow to actually set the alarm in the morning and get up and run before I have to pick Mom up at the airport. So without further ado, I’m going to heat up my coffee and get to reading. Have a nice day everyone!


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