Blogging the nervous energy away since I can’t run until tomorrow.


I knew as soon as I said I’d take a break that I’d be back within days. I think part of it has to do with not being able to workout again/run again yet. I was going to try to start back again yesterday, but we’re in a part of the country right now where the real temp is at 98+ and the heat index has been about 106+. Normally, this would not deter me and I’d get up and run early, but since I had the most horrible flu of my life last week and was dehydrated for several days (seriously, I have never consumed so many fluids in my life–of varying kinds, too, like pedialyte, water, ginger ale–and still not be able to stay hydrated for more than one or two hours), like I mentioned earlier, I have too much to do to be sick. And at 8:00 this morning, it was already 90 degrees. That’s hot, even for me, early in the a.m.

And we have some new developments with the J’s employment. This is what always happens–the J will go forever without money or employment, and then bam! Stuff will just start falling in his lap. His buddy got him some temporary work at the armory to fill in for some open positions that are indefinitely open but the J is not eligible to fill them permanently*. Then his brother called the same day to tell him that he now had a bunch of summer work if the J wanted it. And he had drill this last weekend. Then yesterday, he gets a call for the disaster relief slot he volunteered for (which he can quit at any time before the service is up, but it’s a job that will go for months) to help out in the tornado ravaged area (remember the huge tornado in my area of the country from earlier this summer?). So he’ll be there during the week, and he can come home on the weekends. So he’s planning on applying for school for the winter quarter, and he’ll work doing disaster relief until like November. Fortunately, where he’s doing disaster relief is actually on the way to new state, so it puts him closer to my new job than Home City. It’s not ideal by any means, but it will give us the chance to build our savings back up, hopefully get a couple of more things paid off so we can eliminate the delinquent marks from our credit and perhaps be able to buy a house in new place in about a year or so. While it’s not the best thing in the world, right now it gives us some much needed breathing room, and means we won’t have to go even further into debt with the move.

Now what’s really going on here is that I have no idea what to do about this damn book chapter. Seriously. I don’t think it needs to be very long–5000-6000 words, so what’s that? 15-18 pages roughly? I can do that, right? That’s shorter than a diss chapter, and if I spend 2.5 more weeks plowing through material, I can get that written in a week or less right? That still shorter than most seminar papers, right? I think the problem is that I just don’t know what I want the chapter to do. I don’t know what I want to write. I don’t know in what direction I want the chapter to go. I don’t know what to do. I thought I had a basic idea, and maybe that’s what I need to go back to? The basics? It’s supposed to be a “basic” type thing–like an introduction to the text with a theoretical background that’s accessible to undergrads, so maybe I’m thinking too much or too hard about the chapter, and perhaps I should focus at this point on keeping it simple? It’s really affecting me that I haven’t been able to run for a week.

So I think my new goal for the rest of the summer (damn you summer for already being July!!) is consistency. I mean, I have to make some major strides between now and the first week of August; however, I feel like at this point, I have to be making small to moderate strides every day in order for that to happen. I guess it should be easier with both the roommate and the J gone during the week, right? I can work hard all week and then I can have the weekends with the J, right?

Okay, well, without further ado, and now that I’ve managed to blog out all of the nervous/excess energy that was keeping me from being able to focus properly here, I should get on with working on that book chapter.

*the one position he *could* fill permanently, but that’s it, it’s a permanent six year contract job, which would have been a viable option had I not gotten the new job. It’s the job he would stay at and I would have put one more year in at the now old job.


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