I’m still in a funk, man. and apparently I have a lot of ** things going on in this post. I’m giving up the ghost on the thing that I was waiting for, cos it’s been three weeks, so yeah, that’s an implied “no” I’m guessing. And I have to tell myself that while I probably screwed it up on my own, that it just wasn’t “meant to be.”**
So yesterday I had a horribly painful run. Fortunately I packed my IT Band strap. I’m discouraged right now about my running because I’ve gained about 9 pounds since Easter. So not cool man. And it’s hurting my leg. Once again, I have to have my “put up or shut up” talk with myself. My “stop feeling sorry for your lazy ass” talk. My “don’t use the roommate being home as your excuse not to work out” talk. My “look heifer, it’s exercise or anti-depressants, you choose” talk.*** And the “oh, if you got your shit done for your research, you know you’d feel better about yourself, too” talk.
So yesterday my run sucked. And hurt. And I want to cry about it because it’s painful. And I only read for an hour. However, I have to tell myself that a 20 minute run is better than no run, and an hour reading of theory is better than no reading of theory. You know, I give the Divine Miss T and the Red Rocket pep talks every morning. Perhaps I should institute some kind of Stuart Smalley pep talk ritual for myself, although I feel like that’s what my blogging is supposed to do in some weird respect.
I slept late today. I didn’t roll out of bed until 7:20. That’s really late for me, especially now that I seem to be caught up on my sleep. I think I got about 10 hours last night! Woo-hoo!! And I have the whole house to myself today. The Roommate is at work until like tomorrow night. As the weather is a bit questionable for a run, I will walk the mutts first, eat, and then read for the rest of the morning. With any luck, I’ll get a break in the weather and go for a run this afternoon. If not, today would be as good a day as any to start the P90X again, right?
**Look, generally I LOATHE statements like that. I really do. I cringe as I write it. And while I’m not even sure of my own belief system and I’m not sure I believe in divine plans and such, I understand why people say things like that–it’s to make themselves feel better. And in order not to get into a total funk, I have to tell myself that though I don’t actually really believe it. Therefore, I must move on with my summer. And it does suck financially. Sigh.
***Uh, not to sound like you know that famous whack job who was in that really big movie in the 80s about elite fighter pilots, but as I’ve stated before, for me this is key, at least at this point in my life. Five years ago? Not an option. But an exercise a day, keeps the meds at bay–for me, at this specific point in my life.