I think I’m a bit delusional these days. Like everyone else right about now, I feel buried under work, but I think I’m in denial at how much I have to do. I feel as if I’ve totally lost my teaching mojo. While I start the day off prepared, I get to class and find myself completely clueless about what I want to talk about or teach them. My students are very interested in stories about my family though, so I’ve promised them a story a class because I’m shameless and I need better than good evals this year and if they ask for funny stories about my family and that makes them happy and I pretend that it’s mildly related to the lit and they enjoy class and what we’re doing, then I’ll oblige. It could backfire, but a student today, who is decidedly not crazy, told me that I was her favorite teacher and that she loved my class and she’s taking my class next semester. I was surprised to hear this because she’s quiet and always looks scared in class, but it was nice to hear it. I almost got a bit weepy.
But I actually feel really stressed under all of this. These papers, adjunct scheduling, and the chunk of money that the car is requiring now that it’s spending the night at the dealership. The apartment is a mess. And I believe there’s some mildew action in the bathroom somewhere because it smells like mildew and I don’t have time to deal with it (I think it’s the towels, but who has time to do laundry right now when there’s no towel shortage). Miss T seems to be healing from her bladder infection but she went for a long time today without going out so now she’s sick. It turns out the Red Rocket is much like the easily scared woman from this show as I slapped my thighs and he jumped, tucked his tail under, put his ears back and buried his head in The J’s stomach. And it wasn’t a loud noise either.
But I digress. I hope my denial does not cause a sudden crash and burn, but I’ll ride that wave as long as I can. I under this illusion that I’m going to get everything done and everything will work out. I don’t remember owning rose colored glasses, but they appear to be on my face right now. Maybe I just got enough sleep last night. We’ll see if I’m singing the same tune Wednesday morning.