RBOC

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 The not so pleasant stuff:

  • I underestimated how much work the two lit classes were going to be, and over estimated how cushy my schedule is. In theory it is, but the problem is that on my short days, or my supposed short days, well, I haven’t had one yet–TRs have been filled with meetings and more meetings and ridiculous stuff that I don’t want to deal with and want to get home, prep, and not have to get up at the butt crack of dawn on MW to get those classes’ work done.
  • MW are long days. Since my TR have not let me get home at 3:00 like I’m supposed to and I’ve been getting home between 5-6, I’m exhausted in the evenings and can’t work. I’ve tried. But it’s like you sit for three hours and get through four pages of text which if you did it when you weren’t tired you’d get through those same four pages in like 15 minutes. But it’s a vicious cycle. I get up early to prep which means that my days end up being 12 hour days, so no wonder I’m out for the count by six pm. But I need to figure out a way to break the cycle.
  • I do feel a bit overwhelmed by the meetings and the the things I have to do with this administrative position, the two new preps, the talk for the Civil War President exhibit that’s going on at the college, my inability still to find time to do research (because my mornings are taken up with class prep), and my anxiety and fear over this marathon thing, which will happen. 
  • I am nervous about the marathon because I haven’t been able to hit 20 miles yet, and the marathon is two weeks away, and I should have hit 20 four weeks ago. However, I ran six miles further this Sunday than I did last Sunday, so if I can keep that up for the next two weeks, I’ll at least finish. I have prepared poorly for this. No surprise there though, I’m sure as the queen of self-sabotage.
  • I haven’t started grading papers yet, but there are only 23, and that’s way better than 46 or 69 or 88 which is what I had to deal with last year.
  • I’m struggling with the novel that I’m teaching, the one that’s the precursor to The Great Sock novel. I know it’s because I’ve never taught it before and because it’s dry. I’m doing my best to show it’s importance on its own without overemphasizing the Great Sock, but I feel like I’m a little close to losing them. However, to their credit, they are really hanging in there with it.
  • I’m very far behind on my blog reading, because I spent the weekend wrapped up in The J, but I will catch up with you all soon!

The pleasant stuff:

  • The J is here!! This weekend was wonderful!! I love having him home. While I’m still stressed, I’m significantly less so now that he’s home!! It’s just been so great. I can’t even express it into words. I love having him here. It’s weird because I’m half expecting it to end because every time he’s been here he’s had to go back, so it hasn’t quite sunk in yet that he’s here to stay, so I spend a lot of time asking him if he needs anything, what I can get for him, if he’s bored, what does he want to do. Fortunately, he neither likes nor expects me to wait on him hand and foot, and I told him that it’d be like that for a couple of weeks until it hits that he’s here for good. And I love having him here for good. I really do. I know I sound like an idiot, but it is so nice to finally put that year behind me. Behind us.
  • The J brought me back an orange sapphire. OMG, it is gorgeous. It’s a loose stone, but I think for Christmas or my birthday we’re going to have it set. It’s sooooooo beautiful!
  • ProblemChild appears to really be making an effort now. Ze takes notes. Ze asks better questions about the actual material and not irrelevant things which means that ze is figuring out what is important to understand and what ze can let go. Ze comes to my office for clarification not one-on-one tutoring. I’m trying very hard to convince hir that ze knows more than ze thinks ze does and that ze needs to quit telling hirself that ze doesn’t get it. 
  • My trainer won the whole shebang in her category at her competition this weekend! She got her pro card! I love body building competitions. If you ever get the chance, check it out. So much fun!
  • My students are receiving me much better this year than last. You all were right. The second year would be better. I still don’t think I’m ever going to be "popular" with the froshes, which is fine because I can schedule myself out of froshes, but my majors are all right. One is going to do a "profile" on me for the school paper because ze just finds me "so interesting!" (There’s that word again, interesting. Hmmmmm, I’m assuming they all mean it in a positive way, at least I’m hoping). Ze was shocked that I agreed and we both kept thanking each other for the privilege of the "profile." So that’s a nice thing.
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12 responses »

  1. This is a great post. All things coming together. Chaff separating from the seed in your life, clarifying realities and giving pink slips to the woebegones of the past. You’ll make the marathon if you’ve made more than 17, but it might be a bitch. There are many marathons ahead (of you, never me, never once!) to redeem it, but that shouldn’t be a worry. And finally, no matter how light or heavy your teaching load, not matter how light and heavy your committee commitments, I have interviewed people from different academic backgrounds and know that this profession eats up your life. There are some people who have figured out how to balance things: but these are superpeople, fictional beings in the guise of empirical flesh. Always the prep and committees take precedence over research and home life. The system needs an overhaul. And until then, this utopian moment, don’t feel as if you are slacking on the research front. We are all so tired. If not, we are dishonest. Keep your eyes on the prize: keeping students “really hanging in there with it” is being a miracle worker.

  2. This is a great post. All things coming together. Chaff separating from the seed in your life, clarifying realities and giving pink slips to the woebegones of the past. You’ll make the marathon if you’ve made more than 17, but it might be a bitch. There are many marathons ahead (of you, never me, never once!) to redeem it, but that shouldn’t be a worry. And finally, no matter how light or heavy your teaching load, not matter how light and heavy your committee commitments, I have interviewed people from different academic backgrounds and know that this profession eats up your life. There are some people who have figured out how to balance things: but these are superpeople, fictional beings in the guise of empirical flesh. Always the prep and committees take precedence over research and home life. The system needs an overhaul. And until then, this utopian moment, don’t feel as if you are slacking on the research front. We are all so tired. If not, we are dishonest. Keep your eyes on the prize: keeping students “really hanging in there with it” is being a miracle worker.

  3. This is a great post. All things coming together. Chaff separating from the seed in your life, clarifying realities and giving pink slips to the woebegones of the past. You’ll make the marathon if you’ve made more than 17, but it might be a bitch. There are many marathons ahead (of you, never me, never once!) to redeem it, but that shouldn’t be a worry. And finally, no matter how light or heavy your teaching load, not matter how light and heavy your committee commitments, I have interviewed people from different academic backgrounds and know that this profession eats up your life. There are some people who have figured out how to balance things: but these are superpeople, fictional beings in the guise of empirical flesh. Always the prep and committees take precedence over research and home life. The system needs an overhaul. And until then, this utopian moment, don’t feel as if you are slacking on the research front. We are all so tired. If not, we are dishonest. Keep your eyes on the prize: keeping students “really hanging in there with it” is being a miracle worker.

  4. This is a great post. All things coming together. Chaff separating from the seed in your life, clarifying realities and giving pink slips to the woebegones of the past. You’ll make the marathon if you’ve made more than 17, but it might be a bitch. There are many marathons ahead (of you, never me, never once!) to redeem it, but that shouldn’t be a worry. And finally, no matter how light or heavy your teaching load, not matter how light and heavy your committee commitments, I have interviewed people from different academic backgrounds and know that this profession eats up your life. There are some people who have figured out how to balance things: but these are superpeople, fictional beings in the guise of empirical flesh. Always the prep and committees take precedence over research and home life. The system needs an overhaul. And until then, this utopian moment, don’t feel as if you are slacking on the research front. We are all so tired. If not, we are dishonest. Keep your eyes on the prize: keeping students “really hanging in there with it” is being a miracle worker.

  5. I just wish I could figure out the trick of the “superpeople”–I have no idea, even though they write about it, how people like Dr. Crazy and Heu Mihi do it with 4/4s. And then those who are doing this stuff while still working as adjuncts. It amazes me. My undergrad advisor figured this out, too, but he’s a machine. I’m not sure I want to be a machine. I just want to figure out what I’m doing.
    However, if I’m truly honest, I have a lot of time management issues that affect this and I can be really really lazy. But to also be fair, I know that once I get up in the morning, I don’t stop until I get home from school. I hope I figure it out one day. I know it’s not all about research, but I feel like I’m a much better prof when I am still learning, and that bothers me, too, about all of this. That I know my teaching would be so much better if I were actually doing the research I wanted to do. I’d have more ideas. I’d have more to say that made sense to the students. And I think that’s one of the things that frustrates me the most. *Sigh* And now it’s time to finish up the work I was too tired to stay up late to finish last night, which might involve redoing a class schedule because one class is going to need a full day of review for the exam on Monday, and that won’t happen today. But they need it.

  6. I just wish I could figure out the trick of the “superpeople”–I have no idea, even though they write about it, how people like Dr. Crazy and Heu Mihi do it with 4/4s. And then those who are doing this stuff while still working as adjuncts. It amazes me. My undergrad advisor figured this out, too, but he’s a machine. I’m not sure I want to be a machine. I just want to figure out what I’m doing.

    However, if I’m truly honest, I have a lot of time management issues that affect this and I can be really really lazy. But to also be fair, I know that once I get up in the morning, I don’t stop until I get home from school. I hope I figure it out one day. I know it’s not all about research, but I feel like I’m a much better prof when I am still learning, and that bothers me, too, about all of this. That I know my teaching would be so much better if I were actually doing the research I wanted to do. I’d have more ideas. I’d have more to say that made sense to the students. And I think that’s one of the things that frustrates me the most. *Sigh* And now it’s time to finish up the work I was too tired to stay up late to finish last night, which might involve redoing a class schedule because one class is going to need a full day of review for the exam on Monday, and that won’t happen today. But they need it.

  7. I just wish I could figure out the trick of the “superpeople”–I have no idea, even though they write about it, how people like Dr. Crazy and Heu Mihi do it with 4/4s. And then those who are doing this stuff while still working as adjuncts. It amazes me. My undergrad advisor figured this out, too, but he’s a machine. I’m not sure I want to be a machine. I just want to figure out what I’m doing.

    However, if I’m truly honest, I have a lot of time management issues that affect this and I can be really really lazy. But to also be fair, I know that once I get up in the morning, I don’t stop until I get home from school. I hope I figure it out one day. I know it’s not all about research, but I feel like I’m a much better prof when I am still learning, and that bothers me, too, about all of this. That I know my teaching would be so much better if I were actually doing the research I wanted to do. I’d have more ideas. I’d have more to say that made sense to the students. And I think that’s one of the things that frustrates me the most. *Sigh* And now it’s time to finish up the work I was too tired to stay up late to finish last night, which might involve redoing a class schedule because one class is going to need a full day of review for the exam on Monday, and that won’t happen today. But they need it.

  8. I just wish I could figure out the trick of the “superpeople”–I have no idea, even though they write about it, how people like Dr. Crazy and Heu Mihi do it with 4/4s. And then those who are doing this stuff while still working as adjuncts. It amazes me. My undergrad advisor figured this out, too, but he’s a machine. I’m not sure I want to be a machine. I just want to figure out what I’m doing.

    However, if I’m truly honest, I have a lot of time management issues that affect this and I can be really really lazy. But to also be fair, I know that once I get up in the morning, I don’t stop until I get home from school. I hope I figure it out one day. I know it’s not all about research, but I feel like I’m a much better prof when I am still learning, and that bothers me, too, about all of this. That I know my teaching would be so much better if I were actually doing the research I wanted to do. I’d have more ideas. I’d have more to say that made sense to the students. And I think that’s one of the things that frustrates me the most. *Sigh* And now it’s time to finish up the work I was too tired to stay up late to finish last night, which might involve redoing a class schedule because one class is going to need a full day of review for the exam on Monday, and that won’t happen today. But they need it.

  9. I would like to point out that Dr. Crazy did spend an extensive amount of time talking about the split between teaching and research, and I’m too lazy to link, and this isn’t a direct response to dipresso, but I just didn’t want this to appear to be unacknowledged. πŸ™‚

  10. I would like to point out that Dr. Crazy did spend an extensive amount of time talking about the split between teaching and research, and I’m too lazy to link, and this isn’t a direct response to dipresso, but I just didn’t want this to appear to be unacknowledged. πŸ™‚

  11. I would like to point out that Dr. Crazy did spend an extensive amount of time talking about the split between teaching and research, and I’m too lazy to link, and this isn’t a direct response to dipresso, but I just didn’t want this to appear to be unacknowledged. πŸ™‚

  12. I would like to point out that Dr. Crazy did spend an extensive amount of time talking about the split between teaching and research, and I’m too lazy to link, and this isn’t a direct response to dipresso, but I just didn’t want this to appear to be unacknowledged. πŸ™‚

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